Associate Professor Marily Campbell from QUT’s Faculty of Education says that telling bullies that they shouldn’t bully is not enough. The negative consequence for a childhood bully were just as severe as the consequences of being a victim.
Bullies go on to have lots of relationship issues. They have difficulty in romantic relationships. Only people who are scared of them are their companions their henchmen in primary school.
Bullies in primary school have been shown t be more likely to be convicted of a criminal offence before they reach their twenties than children who are not involved in bullying.
They also often have drug and alcohol misuse problems because they self-medicate as they haven’t figured out how to have good relationships.
Bullying is a learnt behaviour and children learn from their families how to be bullies.
Punishing bullies has been shown not to decrease bullying behaviour. The best way to stop bullying behaviours are various methods of talking with bullies such as ‘shared concern’ which is a very structured procedure to elicit some sensitivity of the bully to the victim.
A second method is restorative justice where the bully must face the victim and the damage they have done.
These methods aim to elicit or teach that empathy that bullies lack.
Schools tell children through their anti-bullying programs that it is a bad thing to do. However if parents condone and bully themselves then this is not enough to change their children’s behaviour.
Bullying can only be stopped when the whole family is assisted to understand their behaviour and develop good social relationships.
Parents may talk at the dinner table about their own bullying behaviour in the workplace and children pick that up as a method of getting what you want.
source: Niki Widdowson Inside QUT 2010